The 3-Question Reset is a quick gut-check before any hard conversation. Before you walk into a hard conversation — or try to recover one that’s already gone sideways — ask yourself three questions first.
- What do you want them to understand?
- What is the goal of this conversation?
- What do you hope the outcome will be?
How to use it
Ask these before you speak, not during. They’re not a script — they won’t tell you what to say. They’ll tell you what you’re actually trying to accomplish, which is usually the first thing that gets lost once a conversation gets tense. Answer them in order: the first keeps you focused on clarity instead of just being heard, the second keeps things from drifting into old history, the third keeps you honest about what you’re actually hoping happens. If you only have thirty seconds before the conversation starts, that’s enough time to run through all three.
Why it works
Most hard conversations don’t go sideways because of what gets said — they go sideways because two people walked in with different, unspoken goals for what the conversation was supposed to accomplish. Getting clear on your own answer to these three questions before you’re mid-conversation is often the difference between one that resolves something and one that just repeats itself.
Want more like this? Subscribe to The Reframe, or book a complimentary call if you’d like to talk through what’s showing up in your own conversations.
Until next time, Michele Delgado, Founder Hartmetrics
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